How Can You Be Gone?
by HJ Russo
Summary: : Enjoy life when you can because you never know when it will pass you on by. R5/AA fic. Life if full of twists


**How Can You Be Gone**

**By: HJ Russo**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing, It all Belongs to Disney/Hollywood Records**

**Summary: Enjoy life when you can because you never know when it will pass you on by. R5/AA fic.**

It was funny how it didn't seem that long ago when I felt your touch. When I close my eyes I can still feel you. It was like you were just here. Your laughter haunts my dreams, everywhere I look I see you and the time we had and it makes me realize that what I have now is empty. I was so sure that we were better off as just friends; you know that what we had was much better as then anything else. I thought what we had was something real and unbreakable. I thought what we had was real to you too. Every time you gave me that smile and looked my way I felt my knees go weak, but I didn't say anything as I didn't want to ruin what we had. It was just too big of a risk to take you know?

But looking back on it, it seemed that was the biggest mistake of my life. Because what do I have? A few memories and broken dreams?

Now all I can do is watch you with her and every time I do I feel like I die inside. I know I only have myself to blame as I was the one who refused to change our situation but did that mean you had to fall for her? Fall into her bed, when you are supposed to be in mine? I know I am being completely selfish as I told you we would only be friends, but didn't you know that I was lying?

I thought you would see me and realize that was all an act. I wanted you to come and fight for me, for us. But that isn't what happened. Sometimes I wish you never filmed that movie and you would have never met her. But at the same time I know I can't hate her, she is an amazing kind and outgoing girl. She is perfect for you. She likes the same things as you. So I know I can't hate that as all I want is for you to be happy. To know that she makes you happy and smile, that is the only thing that keeps me from going completely crazy. Because despite it all that is all that I want for you. We were friends foremost and that still is important to me. Even though I pushed you away and kept to myself I still value your friendship.

But I can't lie and say that every time you tried to break down my walls I wasn't a bit thrilled. Why was I foolish to keep building those walls every time I saw a crack forming due to you? Maybe I thought I would have plenty of time? But then you stopped trying and you moved on and that was when I realized that I was too late.

I let the best possible thing that could have ever happened to me go and now all I was left was a shattered heart and tears to keep me company. I have never wished so much in my life that I could change. Friends tell me that it isn't healthy to live in regret, but if I don't live there then I would never get to be with you. I haven't seen you in about three years now. The show was finished five years ago but our friendship was stronger than even of Austin and Ally's. I thought it was safe and nothing could destroy it.

Little did I know that it could be and I was the one at fault for it. You know sometimes I think about you and I wake up screaming in agony as the pain washes me over. Why couldn't I be brave enough to take that chance with you? Why was I so damned scared?

Why did you let me go?

I can feel my eyes burning the usual way they do every time I think about this. I know it is time to move on and live my life, but even though it is painful these memories are all that I have left of you. I know I past the point of sanity a long time ago but I really don't care. It was my choice to let you go and it is my choice to crave to have you back and if it means I go insane then that is what it means.

If I could have one more day. Just one more day with you I would run into your arms and beg for you to love me. I would tell you that I was in love with you from the very moment that I saw you. That I was a fool and that I would do whatever it took to prove to you that I was the one that you were meant for and that we could be happy. I would tell you that I would spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you.

I would tell you that I was sorry.

God I wish I could have that day.

Maybe this is my punishment? For throwing away something so precious and beautiful that I am meant to be alone.

To know that you are happy and in love and I am alone and broken.

She better learn from my mistakes and treat you right. To value what she has. I know she will because she isn't as stupid as I was.

And if she ever breaks your heart then I will make sure she knows she is a bigger fool then I was.

I Love You Ross Shor Lynch with my entire body and soul. I just wish in our next life that we could be together. Because this feeling inside of me is too strong and painful to live through again. Maybe I can close my eyes and wake up in your arms. I know that is wishful thinking but it is nice to think about, because I would do anything to change it. Just know that you are everything to me and that there is not one day that goes by that I don't regret what happened. Just know that I am living with the consequences with my actions.

I will love you till the day I die. Just be happy and know that you were everything to this lonely girl.

I Love You.

Laura finished writing the last sentence. She couldn't believe that she was doing this, it was very unlike her. She normally would keep her emotions to herself, but this chance of having her emotions out there was something of a risk, a risk that she was willing to take. She knows once this is published that the Raura fan base would explode. They loved everything about her and Ross and even though she wasn't sure why. But hey there was a fan girl inside of everyone. She just didn't want anyone to have their feelings hurt. This wasn't to hurt them; she just thought that it would be a way to thank them for all the years of loyalty that they had given to them. Laura knew all about the Raura fan fictions out there and she had to admit that they were quite good.

" You okay there Laura?"

Laura smiled at the sound of that voice.

" Ross."

Ross smiled at Laura. She truly was his best friend. The love of his life, in a way that he loved her but not like that you know? He knew it was crazy but that is just how he felt. Ross walked further into the room.

" You finished writing it?"

Laura nodded. "I still can't believe that I am doing this."

" Same here, but I think it is cool. The aura part of Raura writing a story about them, Pretty genius I say." Ross chuckled.

Laura laughed. " Who would have thought that after all these years Raura would still be with us."

" We are pretty awesome, so I can see why they would want us together." Ross shrugged. Laura just rolled her eyes.

" Well I happen to be a shipper of Rosslington. By the way how is everything with you and Ratliff?" Laura asked. Ross and Ellington have been married for over a year now and she couldn't help but be happy for her two best friends. The two of them defined what true love was.

" Great." Ross said with a goofy grin on his face. Just mentioning his husband always did that to him.

" I am really happy about that. Speaking of that Have you read any Rosslington fanfics. I love them. Especially everything by XFeelXTheXLoveX."

Ross chuckled. " Yeah those fics rock. Now how is it going with Riaura? There are pretty good fics out there too."

Laura blushed. Yes she and Riker are together and she couldn't be any more happier. A thing that she could thank Ross for. So even though Ross and her weren't together, they did love one another and they would always be family. That is what she wanted to come across with this story. That even though love maybe not what you were expecting.

It can even be better than what you were expecting.


End file.
